


What happens in church, stays in church.

by letsgetschwifty



Category: The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Cute, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Male Slash, Oral Sex, Smoking, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:13:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27758215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letsgetschwifty/pseuds/letsgetschwifty
Summary: For days the church had become somewhere safe for them both. They only had each other and Johnny felt responsible for dragging Ponyboy into it all. He should have just handed himself in. Ponyboy wouldn't have it any other way, he felt just as responsible and feelings unfold. They show each other just how much they need each other.Shown from Johnny's point of view. There will be explicit stuff later on. But we will work out way to it shall we. The events will take place in the church. I've always wanted to fill the gaps in myself, add my own spin to it.
Relationships: Johnny Cade/Ponyboy Curtis
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	1. Your eyes are green

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write this for a while and finally got myself around to it, I've got another fic I've been holding off for a while and needed something to get back into writing and this might just be it. I hope you enjoy. There are warnings attached and if this is not for you, I wouldn't read.
> 
> It's not been beta'd so I do apologise for any grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes.

The pain in his legs was sharp and every movement he made sent another hot flash of it down his them right to the tips of his toes. He didn’t regret it though there was no way he could have woke Ponyboy up he looked way too peaceful and he sort of felt like he owed him for coming with him. He might have saved Ponyboy's life but Ponyboy had saved him many times before that, it was the only thing he could have done, as much as it scared him.

Johnny watched as Ponyboy dragged the comb through his hair, and an horrifying idea ran through him, they were going to have to do something about their hair, both of them. It made him feel a bit sick, that thought mixed with the pain in his legs. He wasn’t going to bring it up just yet though, Ponyboy would more than likely turn around right this second and run off home, no matter how long it took him to do so. He just about heard what he had said picking up on the last part which was his name. 

“You know, you look an awful lot like Sodapop. The way you have your hair and everything. I mean apart from your eyes are green.” Johnny immediately picked up on Pony’s reddening face, there was no way he could hide it, he was too far gone for that, even his neck and ears had changed shades. 

“They ain’t green. They are gray.” It made Johnny smile. And Pony continued. “And I look about as much like Soda as you do.” he paused and then added. “He’s good-looking.” 

“Shoot.” Johnny couldn’t help the grin he had now. “You are, too.” It made it funnier when Pony rolled his eyes and walked away from him. And Johnny laughed, a genuine laugh that he had not done in such a long time. It made him feel incredible. He knew that Pony could hear him because he could see him shaking his head. Johnny didn’t know where his newfound confidence had come from, maybe killing a guy had shaken it out of him. Shaken that scared, timid boy away. Had he been there all along?

Although he believed it to be some kind of cover for how terrified he actually was. But since it was just the two of them and he was the oldest, he had to act it, he had to be there for Pony just as much as he was for Johnny. Johnny's legs were beginning to feel a little better the more he rubbed them, he could feel the blood coming back to them and the pins and needles he had in his feet was finally subsiding, giving them a test he brought them up to his chest, hugging them gently he dropped his head down and closed his eyes for a moment. There was no way they could run forever. Johnny wouldn’t allow it, he wouldn’t allow Pony to have his life ruined too. 

Johnny must’ve fallen asleep because he awoke to Pony nudging softly on his shoulder. He gave him a gentle smile and Johnny got to his feet. Ponyboy knew where they were heading now and sleepily Johnny nodded. Their walk was silent. Walking beside one another. Nothing ever needed to be said really because the two of them had been close enough to not need to fill the quiet. Every so often Johnny had looked over to Pony, he looked incredibly tired and that only made him feel worse. Johnny was overtired, his eyes were heavy but that power nap had energized him and he needed it for the walk they had ahead of them, he guessed about forty five minutes it took them. And by the time he got there, he could feel just how tired he actually was.

They both surveyed the church when they got there just to make sure no one was around. It was empty and creepy, and when they climbed in through the back window it was a relief to be out of sight, even if for now they were still unknown. It wouldn’t take long. And they both knew it, they both silently exchanged that knowledge. Johnny had been a little more delicate than Ponyboy, seeing him flop onto the hard ground made him wince. He pressed his head into his arm and closed his eyes, he really needed this. They both needed this. He could feel Pony's body heat radiating beside him and that was enough, he fell asleep instantly.


	2. We will be okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy. There are warnings attached and if this is not for you, I wouldn't read.
> 
> It's not been beta'd so I do apologise for any grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes.

Johnny woke up way before Pony did. He must’ve been cold because Johnny had to try and prize himself out from underneath his arm, he was facing towards him. Peaceful looking but he was shivering, he was right. Pony was cold. Slipping off his jeans jacket he placed it over the top of Pony. It wasn’t much but he hoped it would at least help him, the fact he was laying on the ground didn’t help either. Johnny had slept too soundly to care about the cold, he already felt so much better and he took it upon himself to get some supplies for them both. They were not going to survive on the water alone. Although that was a bonus. 

Johnny moved his hand gently over the dust on the ground and then traced his message to Pony. 

‘Went to get supplies. Be back soon. J.C.’ 

A few times he had to swipe over the dust again just to erase it and try again, he wanted Pony to actually be able to read what it said, the last thing he would have wanted was for him to worry that he had abandoned him. He never would. Taking the money he left the safety of the church, looking back only once to just make sure he had not woke Pony up. 

The walk had been peaceful, the sun was hidden behind the clouds, a soft breeze passed by and made him shiver. He reached the town in no time, it was much easier now that he had slept, the grogginess he had first felt when he woke had finally left him. There was a small collection of people dotted around now, and each of them looked at him as they went by. He suspected it was more to do with his appearance more than they knew what he had done. It had been a risk he needed to take now because if they left it longer than a day to go and get supplies they would really run the risk of getting caught out. 

Still, Johnny shied away from the looks, his hands were deep in his jean pockets. It was like he knew what they were thinking. ‘Murderer.’ had been at the top of things, not that it was true. For one he couldn’t read minds and two. Too soon. He was overthinking things and he knew it, he always had a habit of overthinking but he never shared that. He had learned to stay quiet. That was his home life teaching him that. 

The store had just about everything he had thought about getting, the mental shopping list he had made came in handy. As he left the store he spotted another item, smiling lightly he took it, paid for it and officially left this time. 

The walk back had not been as much fun since this time he had a bulky box full of stuff. But he didn’t want to complain about it, there was no sense in doing that. As Johnny approached their signature whistle echoed through the open church. As soon as it was returned by Pony he smiled a little, at least he was awake now. Not that it would have bothered him, he wanted him to get as much sleep as he could do. What he had not been expecting was for Pony to come crashing through the door landing at his feet, Johnny looked down at him, brows raised above and hidden by his long hair. Pony looked a little sheepish but was grinning nonetheless. It made him smile.  
“Hey, Johnny. Fancy meetin’ you here.” Pony was still grinning wide, finally he got up off the ground, looking incredibly happy. “What’d you get?” he asked, trying to lean over and peek inside the box that Johnny was holding. Johnny pulled it away and nodded towards the door. 

“Come on, back inside. I’ll show you.” he said and then added. Dally told us to stay inside.” he reminded, of course, that couldn’t count the fact that he had just been down town to sort out the supplies. They had to get them somehow. 

Johnny went in first nodding his head towards the table and his own jacket which it looked as though Pony had folded up neatly. He did not need to word what he meant because Pony grabbed the jacket and started to dust off the table so that Johnny could put the box down and take stuff out of it. “I’ve done my best with what we had. The store itself didn’t have much.” he made sure to tell Pony just in case. Baloney, bread, matches. He pulled them out one by one and Ponyboy started to join in, maybe getting a bit sick of waiting to see what else was in there. He didn’t blame him, he must’ve been bored waiting for his only company to return to him. 

“A paperback copy of Gone with the wind! How’d you know I’d always wanted one?” Johnny turned back to see him sitting down on a dusty looking chair, his eyes staring intently at the book and he was flicking a few pages open. Admiring it by the looks of it. Johnny couldn’t help but blush, both because of the look Pony had been giving the book and the fact that well he got it for a couple of reasons, one of those reasons being completely selfish for himself. 

“I remembered you sayin’ something about it one time. And we also went to see that movie, ‘member? I thought you could maybe read it out loud, kill some time.” In other words, please read it to me. Johnny further reddened and had to turn himself away from Pony before he even noticed him doing it. Pulling the rest of the stuff out he placed it on the table, and he heard the chair scrape hard against the stone floor, and Pony was at his side in seconds. 

“Peroxide? Johnny! Don’t tell me you’re thinking about…” Before Pony could even finish off his sentence Johnny was nodding his head, pulling his knife out. Pony genuinely looked as though he was going to start crying and Johnny felt a strain in his chest. He had to try and be a bit delicate. 

“We’re both gonna cut our hair. And you’re gonna bleach yours.” Johnny told him, even though he guessed he knew where it was going, Pony still looked horrified. So he pressed on, his face softening a little. “They’ve already got our descriptions. We just need to not fit them. I’m going to be cutting mine too Ponyboy.” he told him just to put him at ease then added. “Your skin is fairer than mine.” A lot fairer. He thought. “I wouldn’t look right if I dyed mine.” 

“But my hair.” Pony said, he looked less horrified and more like he was in mourning. Johnny sighed softly and nodded his head gently in understanding. 

“I know.” was all he said and Pony sat back down in the chair, his eyes directly ahead. After a few moments of silence he looked up to meet Johnny’s gaze. Then he nodded, that was all Johnny needed. 

“Just please… get it over and done with, and don’t cut it too short.” Pony requested. Johnny grabbed a small tuft on the top of Pony’s head and felt his hand close around his wrist, pleading eyes staring up at him. “ Johnny please promise me you won’t cut it too short.” Johnny stared back at him for a moment, how could he say no to that. 

“Sure Pony. I promise you.” he told him and that seemed to be enough because he let go of Johnny's wrist. And Johnny got to work, doing the best he could to cut his hair, and not too short either which difficult enough as it was without it looking stupid. He knew it wouldn’t turn out too good anyway. Without hesitation the peroxide got worked into it next. It was burning Johnny’s eyes so he could only imagine what it was doing to Pony. “Go sit outside for a bit. Get the sun on it.” Johnny said, tapping his shoulders lightly. 

Fifteen minutes later Pony returned. Johnny had searched around for something close to a mirror to let him see it. He managed to find one, even if it was broken it would still do what it was made to do. When he saw Pony he tried not to show anything on his face, he looked scared. Just like how Johnny felt right now. “Come here.” he said holding the mirror, he turned it to face him and Pony was having a good hard look at himself. Johnny wished he would say something because he had been incredibly quiet for almost a minute. He never said anything and Johnny put the mirror down and held out the knife to Pony who took it hesitantly, as if it was going to burn him. 

“What do you want me to do with it?” Pony asked him, still holding the knife awkwardly. 

Johnny had already sat himself down, and Pony approached him. Standing in front of him. “First off, can you hold the knife properly. I don’t want to end up dead.” It was supposed to come out lighthearted, but they just sort of stared at each other awkwardly. They didn’t need to speak about why. Pony did as he was told though and held it properly. Johnny continued now. “Just cut at the front, and thin everything else out, I’ll comb it back after I’ve washed it.” 

Pony seemed to reel back, as if Johnny was the one holding the knife and had thrust it towards him. ‘Bit dramatic Ponyboy.’ he thought to himself. 

“You can’t wash it in that freezing cold water. Not in this weather. You’ll get ill.” Pony finally said, stepping back towards him. Johnny shrugged, what other choice did he have. They didn’t have a shower here, which would have been amazing thinking about it. 

“Go ahead and cut it.” 

Pony ran his fingers through his bangs and Johnny felt a shiver run up his spine. That was something he was never going to share with him. That he actually really enjoyed when someone played with his hair. Closing his eyes he let Pony get on with it, he did just as he said he would and when he finished Johnny stared down at the hair on the floor. His hair. There was so much. 

Johnny brushed himself off as he stood from the chair and without saying anything he grabbed the bar of soap he got from the store and washed his hair. Pony had been right, this was a stupid thing to do, that water was freezing cold and it was beginning to make his head ache. When he was finished Pony handed him Dally’s jacket and he put it on, it was way too big for him, but it was welcoming, he needed to warm up. The shivering began. Even when he sat outside in the sun, it wasn’t warm enough to stop the shivering. Sitting with his back against the doorframe he brushed through his hair. He could feel the difference in it with each stroke through it. It felt horrible and he missed his hair already. Johnny knew it would grow back, he wasn’t stupid. But it took away his identity. 

Johnny could feel Pony looking at him, and when he finished combing through his hair he looked up and met his gaze. “We are disguised now.” his smile was soft and Pony nodded. 

“I guess we are,” he replied. Pony ran his hands over his face and Johnny heard the sigh he let go of. When he took his hands away though he could see he had started to cry. 

“Oh, Ponyboy. I’m so sorry I cut your hair off. But you know it had to be done.” Johnny started trying his best to comfort him. Pony was shaking his head, sniffling. 

“It’s not even that. I don’t know what it is. Well, I do. I think it’s everything. I just feel a bit all over.” Pony admitted to him and stood up helping Johnny up too. Johnny was shivering harder now and his teeth began to chatter together. 

“Same here. It’s all been happening so fast..” Johnny said. Pony had put his arm across his shoulder and Johnny leaned into him to try and steal some of his body heat. 

Pony continued talking to him. Most of it he caught onto, some of it slipped away from him because he was concentrating on not trembling too much, it was beginning to hurt the muscles in his sides. And when he finally did zone back in, Pony was talking about last night, and Johnny couldn’t help but close his eyes. 

“Remember that? All the wisecrackin’ from him.” Pony shook his head and Johnny felt his mind wandering back to the night before. “Last night we were walking Cherry and Marica over to two-bits…” zoning back out again Johnny took in a gentle breath. He was flashing back to last night when Pony was being held under the water, struggling to breath. “Just last night we were layin’ in the lot…” The knife had gone in so easily. Who knew it would be that easy to stab someone. To take a life away just like that... And the blood. There was so much blood… “Looking up at the stars and dreaming…” 

“Stop! Just stop.” Johnny cried out. Tears were streaming down his face and Pony stared at him shocked. “Will you shut up about last night. I killed a kid last night. He couldn’t have been more than seventeen or eighteen and I killed him. How would you like to live with that?” Johnny was panting hard, sobbing and Ponyboy took him into his arms and held him, silence lingering between them. Johnny welcomed the hug, he had his face buried into Pony’s neck, the warmth of it was incredible. He felt Pony shiver at the cold touch of his own face. “I didn’t mean to…” he was still sobbing and Pony held him tighter against him. “I swear. But Ponyboy… they were drownin’ you. I was so scared.” he whispered the last part. And then Johnny felt Pony's breath stutter slightly. That meant he was crying now too. Johnny pulled back from him and he was right, Pony was crying.

Pony had slumped down the wall and was now sitting down, his head down, trying to stop himself from crying. Johnny watched him for a moment, his own tears had stopped. “What are we going to do?” Pony suddenly asked, he was looking up to him, and Johnny could see him shivering a bit now too. It was cold, and that was not just because he had been dunking his own head in water, he really could feel how cold it was in here, and at the moment Pony didn’t have a jacket on. That reminded him of something he had bought. 

“This is all my fault.” Johnny called out, he made his way back over to the box and leaned into it. “For bringin’ a little thirteen year old kid along with me. You should go home. You can’t get into trouble for it, you didn’t kill him.” Johnny finished saying as he pulled out a blanket big enough for the two of them to wrap up in. 

“No!” Pony screamed and Johnny looked over at him surprised. His mouth dropped open and Pony continued. “I’m fourteen and I have been for a whole month now.” he then shook his head. “And I am in this just as much as you are Johnny.” he wiped at his face with the back of his hand. “I’ll stop crying in a minute. I really will.” he told him going quiet. 

Johnny made his way back over to him, his expression was softer and he felt so much guilt inside him. Draping the blanket behind Pony he sat himself down next to him, pulling the blanket up over his own shoulders, squishing himself as close as he could to Pony, who after what he said was still crying. “I’m sorry.” Johnny whispered. Pony dropped his head onto Johnny’s shoulder and cried harder. “I didn’t mean it like that… I’m sorry. Shhh.” he wrapped the blanket around them both and was holding Pony against him. His head resting against Pony’s and after a few moments Pony went quiet and still. Breathing gently. And Johnny guessed he had fallen asleep. 

“We will be okay. Don’t worry.” Johnny whispered quieter this time. Rubbing his cheek gently against Pony’s head, hair ruffling. He then closed his eyes too.


	3. Thank you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy. There are warnings attached and if this is not for you, I wouldn't read. 
> 
> It's not been beta'd so I do apologise for any grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes.

Johnny had been in and out of sleep since closing his eyes. This time around though they were both much warmer, he could tell with Pony because he was warm against him, and the shivering had not returned for either of them. Once or twice Johnny had woken up with a dead arm from Ponyboy’s head leaning hard against his shoulder. It didn’t matter though, he fell straight to sleep again soon after he had realised it. 

It was a couple of hours later that Ponyboy woke him up again. This time he was talking. 

“Johnny?” There was a soft yawn and then he continued. “Are you awake?” He asked and Johnny felt him lift his head away from his shoulder, he didn’t move any further though. Even though Johnny had his eyes closed he could feel Pony watching him. 

“Yeah, I’m awake.” Johnny replied quieter than what Pony had been. Then as a delayed reaction he too yawned, he opened his eyes and turned his head. Still resting it against the wall behind him, he watched Pony for a moment waiting for him to continue. He could just about make out his expression because it was still pretty dark. It must’ve been late at night. 

“I feel better now. After cryin’.” Pony said quietly this time. Johnny gave him a gentle smile and nodded his head once to confirm he understood, and that he too felt the same. 

“We’re all cried out now. I think… well for me anyway, I’m gettin’ used to the idea of it.” Johnny admitted to him. Pony just smiled. 

“I thought the exact same thing. I’d rather not be in the situation but I’m sure glad I’m here with you.” Pony said. “At least I can cry in front of you.” Pony added with a soft laugh. Johnny laughed too. 

“Nothing wrong with cryin’ Ponyboy. It always makes me feel better after a good cry.” Johnny said to him. He was still looking at him, and Pony’s expression changed. Soft and serious. 

“Can I ask you something, Johnny?” 

“Sure.” Johnny returned, he couldn’t read the look on Pony’s face now, and he had to shift his gaze else he was going to blush. For what reason, he didn’t know. 

“Before here. Before everything that has happened. Did you cry often? At home I mean… Like when somethin’ happened.” Pony seemed to struggle getting it out. Like he wanted to ask but he was scared. And Johnny smiled gently. Letting him know it was okay. 

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” Johnny said to him. “Do you remember that time my father broke my arm?” he asked Pony, and he nodded. “I came back from the hospital and went straight to your house. Must’ve been close to four in the mornin’.” Johnny had closed his eyes now. “The moment he broke my arm, to the moment I left the hospital. I didn’t cry once. Sure, I was in pain. But it wasn’t worth cryin’ over.” Johnny continued and he felt Pony slide his arm around his waist, his head back on Johnny’s shoulder. Holding him. “Your Mom was the first face I saw that morning. There were no words exchanged. All she did was hug me. I couldn’t stop bawling.” Johnny said laughing softly not out of it being funny, but it just fit. 

“My Mom loved you, Johnny.” Pony whispered to him. 

“I loved her too.” Johnny said. “And I felt it too. I felt that love from her. I’d never felt a mother’s love like it. In fact, it was the first love I ever felt.” Johnny finished and sighed. “

“We all love you.” Pony had picked his head up, and Johnny looked at him. “I love you. Nothing will take that away. I’m not going anywhere. I promise you.” Pony told him and Johnny believed it. 

“Thank you.” It meant absolutely everything to him. “Y’know what I wish?” Johnny questioned him.

“Hm?” 

“That the roof was made of glass.” Johnny told him, and Pony chuckled softly, he could feel him. Pony shifted, unwrapped himself from Johnny and got to his feet, a rush of cold air hit Johnny almost the instant he left. 

“Gimme a moment.” Pony said and before Johnny could question what he was doing he had gone. He couldn’t see him in the dark now. Only hear him moving around and tearing something up. Then he heard the door. “Johnny. Come here. Bring the blanket.” 

Johnny stood, the blanket was draped around him. Crossing the church to the door he met Pony. “What were you doing?” Johnny asked him and Pony pointed towards the top step by the front door. He had opened up the box which Johnny had carried the supplies back in and placed it on the floor. Then he realised why. The blanket dropped off his shoulder when he looked up at the open sky. The sky was clear, the moon shone brightly and the stars twinkled. It looked beautiful. Johnny had been distracted and had not noticed when Pony sat down on the box. The door was closed and the archway offered some protection from the night breeze. 

“Johnny.” Pony called to him. And Johnny turned to see Pony leaning against the beginning of the archway. He had his knees up and he tapped the cardboard in front of him. Johnny smiled and made his way over to him. Sitting down in front of him with his back to him, he scooted back in between Pony’s legs. Pony’s legs slid down either side of Johnny and Johnny pulled the blanket with him, his head now resting on Pony’s chest. Pony grabbed the blanket and adjusted it so that they were both completely covered, Pony had Johnny’s jacket thrown over his own shoulders to keep the cold stone off him. “Comfy?” Pony asked and Johnny nodded his head. 

Where they sat they could see a large portion of the night sky. It was breathtaking. “Thank you, Ponyboy.” Johnny said for a second time tonight. Pony had his arms resting around Johnny comfortably. He responded by circling his thumb on Johnny’s chest. It felt really nice. 

“Just go back to sleep. I’m sorry for waking you.” 

Johnny mumbled something back and found himself drifting off easily again. The last thing he remembered was feeling Pony kissing the top of his head. He was sure of it. Or had he started dreaming already?


	4. Nothin' wrong with that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A dark theme at the beginning of this chapter. Just a warning. 
> 
> It's not been beta'd so I do apologise for any grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes.

Everything around him slowed down. Panic rising in his chest. He felt sick, he needed to be sick. But this wasn’t about him. Ponyboy was being held down in the fountain and if he didn’t act fast he was going to drown and then they would turn on him. A flicker of light bounced off the knife one of them held as he approached Johnny. A devilish grin. This was going to be a fight he had to win. No matter what he had to win this. A surge of confidence burst through him. The adrenaline was coursing through him, giving him that boost. Closing his eyes he thrust the knife towards the offender. Hard. There was no resistance the knife slid through layers of skin, and muscle. And a warm liquid was oozing it’s way out and onto his hand. Pulling back, the knife slid back out and the kid dropped, doubled up holding his hand over the wound. Johnny opened his eyes. Shock, fear, regret. A mix of emotions on the kids face. Blood was pooling around him. He was dead. Everyone else ran away. 

Johnny pushed his own fear away and glanced over at Pony who was still in the fountain. He needed to get him out, he looked limp, lifeless. But there was still time. He just had to move. MOVE DAMMIT! He did. A quick fluid movement he put one foot in front of the other and a hand closed around his ankle. The dead kids hand. Johnny screamed and tried to yank himself away, but it only caused him to be pulled to the floor. He was now covered in the blood pooling. There was no way the human body had that much blood in it. Dropping his hands to his sides he tried to push himself back up. 

“Ain’t you gonna apologise for killin’ me Johnny boy?” the voice came from the dead kid. 

“Let me go!” Johnny screamed at him. Trying harder to yank his foot away. The hand got tighter, and the kid was now crawling towards him. “I need to get to Pony. Let me help him!” he shouted. It went unheard. The kid was on his hands and knees now, but Johnny couldn’t move, the blood had turned into red cement, holding him down. 

“He’s already dead. Just like me. And just like you will be.” Johnny shook his head and in another quick movement the kid was on top of him, his hand tight around his throat. He was choking him. He had his own knife still in his hand and he leaned over Johnny and with a smirk he took the knife to his own throat. “Times up.” The kid slid the knife hard against his own throat and the blood came pouring out. Just like a fountain. He let up the grip on Johnny’s throat and he gasped in a lung full of the blood. Trying to cough, trying to get away from it, but he was stuck. Both pinned by the dead one and the cement blood. Then the kid was laughing. Blood was still gushing from his neck all over Johnny's face. 

Johnny woke with a start. Sitting up he was trying to gasp in the air. But he couldn’t. He didn’t even realise it but he had been crying. A startled Pony was up just as quickly panicking. He was saying something but Johnny couldn’t hear him. He was too busy trying to breathe. Pony had got up and was now kneeling in front of Johnny. Both his hands were on Johnny’s face, forcing him to look him in the eye. All Johnny could hear was the rush of blood in his ears. Then, Pony slapped him hard across the face. Johnny gulped down a mouthful of air out of the shock of it and dropped on his side to the floor. 

“Johnny! Jesus Johnny. I’m sorry. But you wouldn’t… Johnny what the hell was what?” Pony called out to him in panic and Johnny lay on the floor for a moment finally breathing. His face stung, that was one mighty hit from Pony. Johnny pushed himself back up and Pony had his hands on his shoulders, steadying him. 

“Thanks.” Johnny mumbled, still breathing hard. Pony wiped Johnny’s face and pulled him into a hug. 

“You scared me. That was all I could think to do.” Pony said and Johnny laughed softly. 

“That’s okay. It helped, didn't it.” he said with a gentle smile. Pony pulled back just enough to look at him. He still looked scared. “Just a nightmare.” Johnny said, trying to reassure him. He didn’t look it even after he said it. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Pony asked and Johnny looked down, shaking his head. He thought they had finished with the crying, but he couldn’t help it. Johnny sobbed. And he was sobbing hard. Pony held him without saying another word. They were like it for another fifteen minutes. And then Johnny could finally bring himself to speak. 

“How did you sleep, Ponyboy?” it was an attempt to keep the topic away from his own nightmare, and Pony was happy to go along with it too. Apparently he slept really well up until the moment Johnny shook him awake. Understandable. They laughed and the pair gathered the blanket and made their way back inside. They both needed to have something to eat. Baloney. Oh sweet baloney. Johnny despised the stuff, but it was all the store had. It was the only thing they could survive on for now so it had to do. Johnny could tell that Pony hated it too because everytime he took a bite he pulled a face, it amused him. 

Pony was sitting on one of the broken chairs, and Johnny had another one opposite him. Every so often Johnny would watch Pony. He hadn’t noticed because he was too busy trying not to throw up the food.

“Did you dream of anything?” Johnny asked, suddenly curious. He wasn’t prepared to talk about his own but he most certainly wanted to know how Pony’s dream went. Did he have any nightmares about what happened? Pony seemed to pause. And his face went bright red. And then he shook his head. 

“No.” he said a little sharply. There was no eye contact and Johnny frowned, leaning back in the chair. 

“Are you sure?” Johnny asked, amused. 

“I’m sure.”

“Why are you blushing?” The question only made things worse. Pony’s blush filled his entire face, his neck, his ears. And Johnny laughed. There was something Pony was hiding. Leaning himself forward he discarded the rest of his food and watched Pony intently. He could tell what it was without him even needing to say anything. “Did you have a dirty dream, Pony?” 

Now Pony was choking on the food that he had been chewing. He coughed hard and managed to recover himself, this time he looked up and met Johnny’s gaze, Johnny was smirking because he knew from that he was right. 

“No. Why would you even think that?” Pony said. His voice was small and Johnny shook his head. 

“Because you went bright red.” Johnny told him. 

“I just wasn’t expecting it.” 

“You went red before I even asked if you had a dirty dream.” Johnny had him cornered. 

Pony opened his mouth and then closed it again, his gaze shifted towards the ground. He fell silent for a moment before he finally said. “Yes. I did.” 

Johnny’s face lit up. He knew it. And then Pony looked at him. “Don’t get happy about bein’ right. I didn’t wanna say anything about it because you were practically on top of me all night.” 

Now it was Johnny’s turn to blush. Another question crossed his mind but this time he was afraid of being too direct. They were close sure, but not close enough to ask something intimate. Which this question was. 

“Did you uh…” he stopped, unable to finish the question. 

“Did I what?” 

Johnny was quiet for a moment. 

“Come on Johnny did I what? Don’t go back to bein’ all shy now? You’ve plucked up this new-found confidence to ask me if I had a dirty dream. What is it?” 

That was a fair point. “Did you enjoy it?” 

Pony smiled. “Yeah. I did actually.”

“Was it about that soc girl?” 

“That’s as much as I’m sayin’.” Pony said to him.   
Johnny laughed, he got him again. That confidence was back. “It was, wasn't it? Gee Pony, I understand why.” 

“Believe what you wanna.” Pony said, there was something on his face that Johnny couldn’t understand. Was he getting upset? Before Johnny could even ask him that Pony had stood up and was heading for the door. “I’m going to get some air.” 

Johnny watched after him, even as the door came to a close. Confused, he got up and followed him out. When he got outside he couldn’t see Pony and he panicked. Did he scare him off? Making his way down the steps he walked down the gravel path. And relief washed through him. Pony was on the far side of the church grounds sitting on the wall. He must’ve ran to get there. Johnny made his way over and Pony kept looking straight ahead of him. 

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Johnny told him and Pony shrugged. He stayed quiet so Johnny continued. “Please talk to me Pony. I couldn't stand it if you stopped talking to me the rest of the time we are here." 

"It wasn't the soc girl." Pony finally said. Johnny stayed quiet, he didn't want to mess it up again. "In fact…" Pony turned on the wall, one leg coming over so that he was straddling it. He was picking at it, avoiding eye contact, then he finally said "It wasn't a girl at all." He muttered it and it took a moment for Johnny to register what he had said. Then his eyes widened. 

"Oh…"

"Yeah… oh." Pony repeated and Johnny watched him meet his gaze, searching for something. Johnny pulled himself up on the wall and sat opposite Pony. Mirroring him. 

"There's nothin' wrong with that." Johnny told him. Trying and failing at reassurance. He really wasn’t good at that.

"No! There's plenty wrong with that and you know it, Johnny. If anyone finds out about it. I'm dead." 

"It was just a dream. No one is gonna kill you because of a dream." 

"Johnny! I don't want it to just be a dream okay."

"What do you mean?" Johnny asked him and for a moment he thought he was going to shut him out again. 

"Please don't make me say it." Pony said, shaking his head softly. 

"Okay then. Can I say what I think you mean?" Johnny asked him, and Pony looked terrified. But he nodded his head. 

Johnny then said, "I don't know what the dream was. Or who it was about. But from what you've just said, are you saying you like guys?" 

Pony nodded his head. Then shook it frowning. Was he confused?

"You don't like guys?" Johnny tried again. And then followed with. "Oh wait, the guy from your dream?" He asked. "You like someone in particular?" 

Pony nodded. 

"Is it someone we know?" 

Another nod. 

"Someone close?" 

"Yeah." Pony voiced. 

"I see." Now Johnny went quiet, he looked down at the wall and sighed. He couldn't think of a solution and he felt terrible. "Pony. I'm sorry, I don't know what to say." He admitted to him and he saw Pony move, he guessed he was shrugging. 

"Don't worry about it." Pony told him. "Its not like I'm goin' to live my dream. As much as I'd love to." He said and Johnny looked up to him, he was staring right at him, and there was a deep sadness in those green eyes. It made his heart sink. 

"Can I ask who it is?" Johnny questioned not leaving his gaze. And Pony shook his head smiling lightly. "Can I guess?" Pony didn't move, just stared, maybe he was thinking about it because after what felt like a couple of minutes he nodded. 

"Do I get any clues?" Johnny asked him. 

"Well, all together there's seven of us. Take away Darry and Soda, for obvious reasons." He said and Johnny laughed. 

"Okay so I didn't think that you were havin' some dirty dream about one of your brothers now did I? So, that was a rubbish clue." They both laughed and the mood lightened. 

"Okay. He's the bravest person I know." Pony said. Johnny's brows furrowed. He was about to take a guess but Pony continued, still keeping eye contact. "He makes me smile. And laugh. And he has never judged me, ever. He totally gets me and I get him too. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I wouldn't wanna be on the run with anyone else. At least you remember to buy soap." Pony had started to cry by this point, and Johnny was speechless. Had he really just admitted that to him? 

"Me?" Johnny finally said and he saw Pony take in a breath, he must've been holding it the whole time he had been quiet. 

Pony nodded. 

"Shit." Johnny muttered and Pony started to laugh. 

"That's the first time I've ever heard you curse." Pony told him, he was smiling but Johnny could tell he was terrified, it was written all over his face. The tears had stopped falling but he could see the trail where they had been. "Johnny?" Pony was starting to panic, he could tell, it was in his voice. "Johnny, please say something. I don't like how qu–" 

Johnny had cut him off by grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer to him. Dark eyes meeting those gorgeous greens. Johnny saw Pony’s adams apple bob as he swallowed hard. Did he think he was going to hurt him for it? Johnny glanced down to Pony’s lips and closed the gap between them. His own lips pressed against Pony’s. Neither moved. Johnny’s eyes had closed and after a few moments of their joined lips he pulled away. Opening his eyes Pony's mouth had dropped open and his eyes were blown wide. 

"Was that okay?" Johnny asked him finally. 

Pony blinked a few times before he answered. "Why did you do that?" He asked him. 

Johnny shrugged. "I felt like it." He admitted. "Was it not okay then?"

"No." Pony said then tried again. "I mean, no, that was… more than okay." He said with a soft smile. "Can we do it again?" 

"Yeah…" Johnny almost whispered. Pony closed in this time, the kiss was gentle, tentative and Pony this time moved his lips against Johnny's, the sensation sent a shiver all through him and he couldn't help but reach up, hands grasping around Pony’s neck as if trying to pull him closer, it was impossible so he held onto him instead.

Pony moaned against Johnny's lips. And he reacted by deepening the kiss, his tongue trailed along Pony’s lip, and he was instantly granted access, their tongues found each other, Pony’s felt soft and sensual against his own, and he felt himself stirr in his jeans. Unfortunately needing air, they parted. Foreheads pressed together, eyes closed.

"Did we do that in your dream?" Johnny asked. 

"We did." Pony replied. 

"What else did we do?" He dared. 

They both opened their eyes. Pony's were full of arousal. 

"Would you let me show you?" Pony asked. Johnny stared into those eyes for a few moments, he felt a flush of heat run through him.

"Yes."


	5. Read to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are warnings attached and if this is not for you, I wouldn't read. Especially now this is where the smut begins. 
> 
> It's not been beta'd so I do apologise for any grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes.

Pony’s face lit up. He got down off the wall first and was holding his hand out to Johnny. The butterflies were fluttering hard in his stomach. And Pony must've sensed it. 

“Don’t worry Johnny.” 

Johnny met his eyes and smiled softly, taking his hand he got off the wall. They kept their hands together and Johnny replied. “I’m not worried.” Pony smiled and pressed another kiss to his lips and led him back to the safety of the church. Not the best of places to be in any normal circumstances, let alone a first time sexual encounter. And with one of his best friends too. Johnny hoped this wouldn’t ruin that between them. He knew what they were doing was wrong, but he didn’t want them to stop. He wanted this, just as much as he could tell Pony did too. 

“Sit down Johnny.” Pony requested when they were back inside, he was pointing towards one of the old battered pew benches, it looked a lot sturdier than what the chair had been, less dirty too. Johnny did as he was asked and Pony stood in front of him for a moment. He looked nervous. Without saying anything Pony got on his knees in front of Johnny. Johnny watched him. Pony moved forward, his hands resting on Johnny’s knees, then as he moved himself closer his hands trailed gently up and along Johnny’s thighs, his touch was feather light and that was what made it more arousing to him. That and the fact this was the first time anyone had ever touched him like this. Pony was in between his legs now, he had a hand on either side of Johnny’s hips. And they were making eye contact, both breathing quicker, both making sure that the other was okay with what was happening. Johnny’s own hands were braced either side of him on the bench. 

“Are you okay?” Pony asked, nearly whispering it. Johnny nodded quickly and without breaking eye contact Pony began to work Johnny's jeans open. The button came away and the zipper came down, it was awfully loud and awkward in the silence of the church. Pony reached up with one hand and pulled Johnny into another kiss, as he did he reached his other hand down into Johnny’s jeans, squeezing him over his boxers. And Johnny gasped, the kiss broke for a moment. And Pony was watching him, he guessed in case he changed his mind. He wasn’t going to. So Pony carried on. His hand moving against Johnny’s hardening dick. Squeezing him, stroking him. The fabric being the only thing stopping skin on skin contact. It didn’t take long for Pony to change that. 

“Lift up a bit Johnny.” Pony asked, and Johnny did. Pony tugged down Johnny's jeans and boxers, they were midway on his thighs now, and Johnny was flushing. He was hard and fully exposed now. Pony took him in his hand, skin on skin felt so much better. Johnny was going to voice that, but Pony took away his ability to speak momentarily when he lowered his head down and licked the head of his cock. 

“Jesus, Pony.” Johnny called out surprised and he saw Pony smirk. He didn’t stop, he didn’t look up instead he dragged the underside of his tongue down the side of it, right down to his balls. The sensation was like no other. And Johnny couldn’t bring himself to look away. Pony had finished his ministrations on his balls and sat up a little bit. Still smirking, but he looked so good, their eyes locked for a few seconds and then Pony slowly licked his lips, and lowered again, this time he took Johnny into his mouth, his warm, wet and incredible mouth. Johnny nearly lost it then, a moan fell from his lips and his head dropped back. Eyes closed tight. Pony didn’t stop, and when Johnny felt the tightness of Pony’s throat he tightened his hands on the seat of the bench. He was sure he heard the wood split when he pulled at it... And Pony didn’t stop there, he came back up, not quite releasing his cock, and then back down he went. Not quite as deep, because he couldn’t feel the tightness of his throat anymore. The feeling still sent him to otherworldly places. Sure he had thought about this before, but never did he think it would be done by Pony. And he never imagined Pony would be so good at it either. Not that he had anyone to compare it to. 

Pony had one hand on Johnny’s thigh, he could feel him squeezing every so often. The other hand had come up around the base of his cock, which was why he was not going so deep, but when he started to move that hand in time with his bobbing head. Both his hands tightened their grip on the bench again. 

“Pony.. oh my god.” Johnny still had his head back. Pony sucked hard back up to the head and with a pop his cock bounced free and Pony looked up to Johnny who had no idea what his own look was but by the smile on Pony’s face he enjoyed it. Pony grabbed one of Johnny’s hands and nudged it towards his head. 

“You can grab my hair if you wanna.” he suggested and Johnny’s dick twitched. It didn’t go unnoticed. And when Pony went back down onto Johnny’s cock. He did just that. He ran his fingers through Pony’s now blond locks and Pony moaned against him, the sensation sent a shiver through him. He could feel Pony’s tongue swirling around the tip, sliding along the slit. And he grabbed a fistful of hair. It spurred Pony on and he took him deeper in his mouth, he had removed his hand from the base and Johnny could feel himself nearing his throat. He couldn’t stop himself when he bucked his hips. Pony’s eyes tightened, and Johnny heard him gag around his cock, his throat had tightened around him and Pony kept working on him.

“Pony.. ah.” he still held onto Pony’s hair and he could feel that sensation warming up in his stomach. He was so close. “Pony. I’m gonna…” it was his warning. Pony had taken Johnny’s balls into his hand, palming them gently, his head bobbing quicker on Johnny’s cock. Taking him right to his throat with each movement. That was all it took. Johnny grabbed onto his hair with both hands now, his orgasm rocked through him. The church filled with moans coming from Johnny and gagging, sloppy sounds coming from Pony. Johnny came hard. Pony had to push him down because in his ecstasy he had bucked his hips that hard Pony nearly choked. He had moved his mouth to the tip of Johnny’s dick to catch every last drop of Johnny, collecting it in his mouth and then swallowed. And when Johnny had finished, he let go of Pony’s hair and his hands dropped lazily to his sides. His heart was pounding and sweat was running down his face. Pony was licking the last of his cum off the end of his dick and Johnny shuddered. 

“No, no. I can’t.” Johnny said through his breathlessness and Pony laughed, letting his dick go. 

“Was that okay?” 

Johnny widened his eyes and sat up. He hadn’t put himself away yet. 

“Okay!? Pony, have you done that before?” 

“No.” he said smiling. 

“That was amazing. I still can’t feel my legs, I’m sure I saw stars.” Johnny said with a laugh. He grabbed his jeans and pulled them up, leaving them open. When he had lifted up his legs had felt like jelly and he needed a moment to collect himself. “How are you so good?” 

Pony shrugged. “I’ve dreamt about it a lot.” he said with a chuckle, he stood up and sat himself down next to Johnny. Resting his head on Johnny’s shoulder. 

“Do you want me to…?” Johnny asked, he could clearly see that Pony was hard in his jeans. Pony shook his head softly.

“It’s okay. I’m savin’ that for later.” Pony said turning his head a bit on Johnny’s shoulder, they looked at each other and Johnny smiled. 

“There’s going to be more?” Johnny asked and Pony sat up. 

“That’s alright with you isn’t it?” Pony looked like he had said the wrong thing. Panicking. And Johnny nodded his head. 

“If it’s anythin’ like that, then of course.” he told him and Pony grinned. 

“Fancy a game of poker?” Ponyboy asked and Johnny nodded. 

“Yeah, I do. Then can you read to me?” 

“I’d love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still got a lot planned for these two.   
> Thought I'd start off with something light. ;) 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed.


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